If you had an infinite amount of time and a lot of monkeys and typewriters, you would...well, you would get a whole lot of gibberish. That whole infinite monkey theorem is bogus.
So what's my point? When you need your car fixed, you don't try to do it yourself. You take it to a mechanic. Likewise, when you need effective copy that drives sales, click-throughs, or any other response you're hoping to get from your target audience, you turn to a skilled copywriter, not a fuzzy, little monkey.* And that's where I come in. As an experienced freelance copywriter and editor, I know how to create copy that boosts your sales and increases brand awareness.
Here's what I have to offer you:
  • More than ten years of experience
  • The ability to produce persuasive copy on any subject
  • An affinity for editing copy to improve clarity, consistency, and flow
  • Experience in a variety of industries in both digital and print media
* Not that I have anything against monkeys. I just don't think they make good writers. A 2003 experiment testing the infinite monkey theorem yielded five pages that consisted mostly of the letter "S".

Featured Work

  • gace.ETS.org Launch
    • Worked on launch from start to finish
    • Finalized site structure and navigation
    • Provided extensive editorial support to internal and external clients
  • www.ETS.org Redesign
    • Wrote new content for two of four main brands
    • Edited existing content
    • Worked directly with Coding, Proofreading, and User Experience teams
  • www.FerretFacts.com
    • Managed the site development from start to finish
    • Wrote and edited all content
    • Updated regularly
  • eBay PhotoCard email
    • Conceptualized
    • Wrote copy
    • Edited proofs
  • Interview
    • Interviewed for internetretailer.com (as Kristen Onasch)
    • Commented on the effectiveness of social marketing